So I've just read every single post around this time for the past 8 years and one thing rings true, I'll never be whole. There is a giant, bloody and gaping hole through my body and soul that reverberates with the echoes of my wails and stings from the salt of my tears. I want to find clarity and meaning and purpose but it all seems redundant because I'll never achieve what I truly want, my dad to come home. As I sit in bed at 1am drinking vodka and sitting in silence I find my only comfort in these captured memories scattered around me. This is pain. This is loneliness. This is loss. And the saddest part of all this? The pain burdens me everywhere I go, no matter how hard I try to supress it. I should just stick a damaged goods sign onto my forehead and call it a day.
/feelings2016 - Oh Monika
14 October 2016 @ 01:22 am